And to think I was worried about the global shortage of food and potable water.

The Washington Post revealed last week that U.S. sperm banks are running out of frozen Nordic sperm. Det er noget skidt!

Since May 2005, the United States has banned sperm banks from importing the little swimmers from Europe for fear it might spread mad cow disease. As you may know, people who eat meat from animals infected with mad cow develop Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in rare cases. So, yes, the FDA has made sperm a food safety issue, adding yet another dimension to the age-old "spit or swallow" debate.

Continuing on the food theme, Claus Rodgaard, who runs the Cryos International sperm bank in New York City, says the demand for Nordic sperm remains high, but Cryos has "just a few crumbs left." Apparently, American sperm connoisseurs are particularly fond of Nordic sperm crumbs, because the of the donors' blue eyes, blond hair and "tendency to be tall and have advanced degrees." Also appealing, according to the Nordic Cryobank of Copenhagen, is the Nordic donors' sincere, rather than monetary, motivations for donation. (So this makes the sperm more ... philanthropic?)

Who are the faceless, tragic victims in the Great Frozen Nordic Sperm Shortage (GFNSS) of 2008? The Post article talked about the desire of one woman to give her "beautiful Viking baby" a full sibling by using the same donor (nicknamed Sven) she used for her first pregnancy. Thwarted by the GFNSS at U.S. sperm banks, this woman has flown to Copenhagen three times to be inseminated with sperm from the donor. Inquiring minds want to know ... did she call around to find a sperm bank with Sven in stock, like you would a pair of pants at the Gap, or did she track down the real Sven and ask for a charitable donation?

With the shortage of Viking sperm, it's a good thing we have Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie committed to providing the world with genetically superior babies.