Nothing communicates prosperity like fresh asphalt

The Washington Post reported today that the District Department of Transportation (DDOT) has started a $2 million project to re-pave and "spruce up" a large stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue in time for the January inauguration of Jobama or Pain, as I've taken to calling the two presidential tickets (trademark pending).

The kicker: the road doesn't need re-paving. Not a pothole in sight. But DDOT says Pennsylvania Avenue is a "showcase for DDOT" and wants it to "look perfect for Inauguration Day." This makes Pennsylvania Avenue sound like a bride visiting the TriBeCa MedSpa before her wedding day. "This is your special day, and you need to look like a princess. How about a little Botox, some wrinkle-filler and some airbrush tanning to freshen you up for your wedding photos, you old hag?" Don't forget the bridesmaids.

All the cosmetic surgery in the world won't make you a princess, just deluded and a little fucked up, like the DC government.

Seriously? $2 million to pave a road that doesn't need paving? At a time when gasoline prices are on the rise and global warming is drowning polar bears, our scarce transportation dollars should go toward making it easier for people to take public transit. Instead, the DC government spends $2 million to Botox a road.

In the meantime, the DC Metro system, alone among major U.S. transit systems, does not have a dedicated source of revenue for capital improvements. As a result, the Metro continues to experience breakdowns, delays and disruptions due to deteriorating infrastructure and equipment problems, making the daily commute even more soul-sucking than it already is.

I guess the DC government is guessing (correctly) that the pomp of the Inauguration will serve as a bright, shiny object to distract people attending the festivities or watching them on the TV from DC's reality: under-performing public schools, rampant child poverty, violent crime, and glut of political hack douchebags. Oh, and that taxation without representation thing.

But the pavement is so beautiful!